When you feel as if there is no hope, know that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  You may not know why at that exact moment, your life is shit, but you'll soon find out.

I want my other halves to come home and one of them to get better....

Tiny is a little lost.

I dont know what to do with myself.   For those of you who know what I'm talking about...feel free to call me or IM me. I could use it.  For those of you who don't. Sorry, but I'm not informing you.. nothing personal

tiny??

So I definitely have to update because I haven't in a while.  I ended my summer term with a B in General Psychology and a 89% in Aerobics...grr! Pretty good though for my first semester in college and only 6 weeks.  Well, towards the end of the summer, I started to become very stressed and unhappy.  I didn't ever think this would happen, but I'm homesick.  My dorm isn't what I thought it would be.  When Mykal was with me in the dorm it was tolerable because someone I was comfortable with was there, but now, I just want to either come home or stay at his house.  And the second reason is because I feel like I'm being forced to work at Express.  I was excited, but at the same time, I just dont want to.  I don't really want to meet new people and work in a mall.  At my other job, I already feel like there are cliques and I'm kind of the "odd-ball" there.  I don't show it, but I feel uncomfortable at times.  Sometimes I just want to walk out even though I enjoy it more than ever.   And the third reason is that I want to start dancing again.  I just want to perform and not worry about anything.  I want to be able to do what makes me the happiest.....dance my little heart out. I want to be able to perform my little heart out and KNOW that I've not only polished up my technique but that I have that confidence to KNOW that I can dance.  Sometimes I watch the other dancers and feel like I can't dance and even that I don't know how to dance.  Like at Galaxy, where Mykal works...I want to perform again.  I want to perform in front of a crowd of 50 or even 100.  I wish that I could perform for the 100s of thousands like I did at WGI and DCI, but just dancing.   It's really gotten me down.  And then Mykal told me that I could fill in for Galaxy if Chad needed someone to either perform or to dance at a Mitzvah, but I feel like compared to everyone else, I'm Mt. Everest.  Even at P.E., I feel like Mt. Everest.  Everyone there is so much thinner than I am. And then when something makes me mad...I just break down and cry.  Like it's the end of the world.  Not that I mean to or want to, but I feel like I'm missing so much.  I don't know how I'm going to handle Mariela leaving.  We were ALWAYS together.  It wasn't too likely that you found one and not the other. So many good memories.  Ashlee left me last week...it was ok because I know she's not in Boston.  But even then...you know?  Those who you are most likely to be found with on a daily basis, are no longer there on a daily basis.  Not even weekly, or monthly.  Oh well.  I feel a bit better now.  I got to go though because Amanda and I are going to Wal*Mart and Best Buy.  Talk to you later!

xoxo,

Mykal's Tiny, and Mommy's Little Girl